We won't sleep together?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
