I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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