Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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