he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
