God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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