Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize