Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize