It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
