you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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