when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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