Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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