i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
