i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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