Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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