Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
