I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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