i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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