I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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