She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
