You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.