Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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