So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
is wine microwaveable?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
