whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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