Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
