Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
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I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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