Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
