I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
