Moan for me like Helen Keller
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
