So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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