If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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