It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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