Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
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this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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