Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules

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  (317): The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules http://tfl.nu/4e2d
  Replies (9) Good night (663) Bad night (897)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  What do you think she thinks of us?

  (1-956): View more from Texas

  I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us

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  (956): What do you think she thinks of us? (1-956): I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us http://tfl.nu/ul14
  Replies (8) Good night (2344) Bad night (612)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.

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  (865): he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers. http://tfl.nu/fhwb
  Replies (48) Good night (5367) Bad night (1014)
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  (916): View more from California

  she's into porn, im staying here tonight

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  (916): she's into porn, im staying here tonight http://tfl.nu/jlgw
  Replies (31) Good night (6798) Bad night (733)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly

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  (443): I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly http://tfl.nu/9fzw
  Replies (11) Good night (5768) Bad night (1374)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.

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  (478): I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been. http://tfl.nu/xper
  Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (2765)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.

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  (256): I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly. http://tfl.nu/2jju
  Replies (9) Good night (2600) Bad night (968)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

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  (647): I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/q7vv
  Replies (9) Good night (1496) Bad night (528)
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  (760): View more from California

  I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

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  (760): I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/rhvf
  Replies (23) Good night (2064) Bad night (573)
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  (510): View more from California

  Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?

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  (510): Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you? http://tfl.nu/34q2
  Replies (4) Good night (533) Bad night (763)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."

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  (901): I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking." http://tfl.nu/tuv1
  Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (277)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious

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  (239): We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious http://tfl.nu/iovv
  Replies (6) Good night (706) Bad night (403)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.

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  (307): Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school. http://tfl.nu/nzko
  Replies (0) Good night (491) Bad night (277)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?

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  (715): So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities? http://tfl.nu/h2if
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (206)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you

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  (615): well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you http://tfl.nu/f9wz
  Replies (1) Good night (242) Bad night (415)

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