Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
