On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?