Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...