Texts From Last Night

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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

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  (218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus http://tfl.nu/il4r
  Replies (12) Good night (972) Bad night (1225)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.

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  (314): Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins. http://tfl.nu/7xw4
  Replies (37) Good night (4522) Bad night (754)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.

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  (619): Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it. http://tfl.nu/cnbd
  Replies (31) Good night (874) Bad night (7531)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  love makes seman taste better

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  (937): love makes seman taste better http://tfl.nu/bxjy
  Replies (37) Good night (4648) Bad night (918)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.

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  (847): I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever. http://tfl.nu/av4z
  Replies (15) Good night (753) Bad night (4246)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.

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  (320): I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it. http://tfl.nu/sdid
  Replies (11) Good night (5536) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.

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  (425): I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B. http://tfl.nu/2oen
  Replies (38) Good night (5019) Bad night (1949)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me

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  (970): Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me http://tfl.nu/64e5
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (794)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair

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  (401): She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair http://tfl.nu/x122
  Replies (9) Good night (990) Bad night (2108)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?

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  (502): Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk? http://tfl.nu/ayp8
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (1513)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.

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  (484): dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow. http://tfl.nu/dkso
  Replies (7) Good night (1300) Bad night (416)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.

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  (+44): It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex. http://tfl.nu/wykh
  Replies (4) Good night (1282) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.

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  (413): Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days. http://tfl.nu/0sic
  Replies (7) Good night (621) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He had a step stool to get in to his bed!

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  (619): He had a step stool to get in to his bed! http://tfl.nu/4n7f
  Replies (4) Good night (254) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.

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  (570): Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan. http://tfl.nu/akru
  Replies (6) Good night (610) Bad night (358)

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