Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !

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  (248): The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo ! http://tfl.nu/e5q2
  Replies (5) Good night (1453) Bad night (752)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...

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  (407): i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina... http://tfl.nu/9yjk
  Replies (15) Good night (2931) Bad night (603)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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  (301): Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them. http://tfl.nu/uwdn
  Replies (25) Good night (3437) Bad night (672)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Yes and so do I

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  (702): We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore? (1-702): Yes and so do I http://tfl.nu/4rgh
  Replies (47) Good night (4391) Bad night (1120)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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  (765): You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged http://tfl.nu/je5z
  Replies (8) Good night (1079) Bad night (3586)
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  (628): View more from California

  i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me

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  (628): i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me http://tfl.nu/vt02
  Replies (40) Good night (2189) Bad night (4845)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized

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  (541): does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized http://tfl.nu/g99b
  Replies (12) Good night (3842) Bad night (1096)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.

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  (601): I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk. http://tfl.nu/k978
  Replies (13) Good night (3743) Bad night (1182)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.

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  (412): we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better. http://tfl.nu/vdj0
  Replies (8) Good night (2447) Bad night (827)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.

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  (214): I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go. http://tfl.nu/67tg
  Replies (17) Good night (3171) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He should have died. Natural selection.

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  (301): Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass (240): He should have died. Natural selection. http://tfl.nu/8itz
  Replies (13) Good night (2728) Bad night (853)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer

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  (770): possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer http://tfl.nu/bt81
  Replies (0) Good night (384) Bad night (515)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.

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  (732): I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened. http://tfl.nu/b4bs
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.

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  (541): Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways. http://tfl.nu/r7l2
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.

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  (541): Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god. http://tfl.nu/ma7j
  Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (497)

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