i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful