margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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