Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
