how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
