none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
