i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
