I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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