Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
