Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
