also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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