ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
