Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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