I'm pants shitting drunk right now
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize