Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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(641): View more from Iowa

literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs

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(561): View more from Florida

I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.

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(310): View more from California

you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

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(713): View more from Texas

onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.

(347): View more from New York

Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.

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(914): View more from New York

When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.

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