Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
