I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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