Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize