you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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