We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
