I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
