This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
