New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize