You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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