I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
