don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
