i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just tell him i said nine months
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize